Hi guys,You may remember posts like “Struggling To Get Started” and “Pushing Myself To Get Started”, and in those videos I share the difficulty I have sometimes in getting started painting, and I realized the struggle is just because I care so much about what I’m doing.
I have high hopes for every piece and in my mind I never how my I’m going to create with my hands what my mind has dreamed of.
I don’t believe this is a lack of confidence per se. I don’t doubt that my work is good and I don’t doubt that I’m talented. I also have no desire to hoard my talent from the world. Far from it. It’s just that such a strong emotional investment in every project plan that I make, whether a piece of art, or a video like this one, that the prospect of executing on that plan can almost fill me with dread because I just really care so much about the results and I don’t always trust that things will work out.
That’s where I think my problem is. My problem is not caring about the results of my efforts. I’m certainly not gonna make any effort to stop caring. That would be just plain irresponsible. What I am gonna try to do is have more faith that things will turn out for the best. Even if something turns out horrible, chances are I learned from it, so it wasn’t a waste of time.
I can’t explain why, but for some reason, I’m far less nervous about projects I do for other people, ie commissions or gifts, than I am about my own projects. Maybe it’s because I know no one else is gonna judge me my work as harshly as I am.
So where does all my work come from if I’m so paralyzed with fear to even start. Well eventually my ambition overcomes my fear and I come to care so much much about the project that I can no longer stand to keep it inside of me.
I’m curious, if you’re a person who also does your own projects, if you’re a painter, musician, photographer, author, whatever, can you relate to what I’m talking about here? Please tell me your thoughts in the comments.
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Painter of portraits and wildlife